If i come over, it means nothing
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
