Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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