it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
