Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
third nipple confirmed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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