Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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