I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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