Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Terrible idea I love it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
