I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
