Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
