Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
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My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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