I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
