I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
