I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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