she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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