my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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