Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
