I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
