we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
