soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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