The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
