I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
