Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
