oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
