I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
