you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
