Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
