I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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