Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
