Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
