How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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