he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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