I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize