Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
