If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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