they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
