His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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