Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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