put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
