Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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