laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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