You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
