I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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