words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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