I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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