One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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