You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
