Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
