once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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