Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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