Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You were trust falling into bushes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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