It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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