My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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