Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
