my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
fuck your aforementioned shoe
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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