had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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