if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
