i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
